


Every Guy's Got His Kryptonite

by misura



Category: Die Hard (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 20:24:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2825030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" 'Oh, I have you in my clutches now, Superman. Or should I say, <i>Rick Kent</i>?' "</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Guy's Got His Kryptonite

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



"No," John said flatly.

"Please?" Matt wriggled a bit in his handcuffs. His _neon-green_ handcuffs.

John wondered where the hell one went to purchase a pair of neon-green handcuffs. Possibly the same place where Matt had gotten the bright red cape. "Look, I'm wearing the fucking clothes, all right? That's not enough?"

"The clothes are not the point," Matt said. "Besides, technically speaking, your character doesn't even have an official costume. He's just - you know."

"Bald."

"And sexy," Matt said. "I mean, with hair, he'd be - "

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," John said, cutting in before Matt could warm up to the topic. "What do you say we just get this show on the road now, huh?"

"You got to say the line, man." Matt looked stubborn.

John weighed the pros and cons of giving in. Most of the cons boilt down to: _I'll feel like an idiot_.

Most of the pros boilt down to: _I'll probably get laid_. Put like that, it seemed kind of simple. " 'Oh, I have you in my clutches now, Superman. Or should I say, Rick Kent?' "

"Clark," Matt said. "Superman is _Clark_ Kent. You know, with the glasses? Also, that was terrible. I mean, seriously, you're, like, the worst actor ever."

John sighed. "That'd be because I'm not a fucking actor, all right? I'm a cop. Besides, _I'm_ a bad actor? What about you? Would Clark Kent tell this Luther guy he's a bad actor? Huh?"

Matt gasped, and okay, John had to admit that as far as acting skills went, the kid was okay. " 'How did you find out? If you've hurt Lois, I - ' "

"Okay, stop right there," John said. "I mean, what? You expect these people to have hot sex while one of them's actually just worried the other guy's done something to his girlfriend? I mean, that's messed up man. Seriously."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Seriously? It's not real, man. It's just, like, a game. Supe puts out because deep down, he's totally lusting over Lex, but he can't admit that, because Lex is evil. And Lex totally wants to get into Supe's pants, but he also wants other shit, like rule the world and invent clean energy, you know, stuff like that."

"Regular guy stuff," John said. Sarcastically, although he didn't think Matt was picking up on that.

"Yeah," said Matt. "I mean, the guy's a billionaire and a genius."

"I want you. I want to take all of your clothes off and kiss you all over your body until you're just begging me to fuck you like you've never been fucked in your life."

Matt's face went a little pink. "I don't think that's in the script."

"I'm improvising," John said. "You want me to stop?"

"No."

"Good. Didn't think you would."


End file.
